You know I've been brought to tears by bad sleep many times xD Always happy to vent on it - because it's a REAL struggle. That being said I really appreciate the conclusions you're coming to, and though it sort of scares me sometimes to acknowledge that 'deliverance from xyz suffering' may not be the right prayer it does contextualize our lives in eternity.. And also allows us to find the good things even in the midst of ongoing hardships, because there are always good things. That being said, this kid needs to sleep and I am specifically going to keep praying that he does :)
The frustration and agony of not getting sleep is truly awful. I have felt that desperation at some point for each of my kids whether newborn or toddler (because kids are all different and weird and decide to screw with your sleep at different times!!), and it is so real. But your realization about wanting a reward and something to hope for is also so important. I think I also had that realization with a few things that were just real continual suffering that helped me in the long run in my approach to how long and continual it turned out to be. Which makes me sound as if you have nothing to ever look forward to, but also, long continual suffering probably exists in some form for most of us, and if it looks or seems to not be existing in others' lives its probably because they're doing a lot of things to avoid, ignore, or deny it which will lead to nothing good in the long run!
Well it's validating for a mum of older kids to acknowledge that the sleep deprivation phase of parenting *is* really hard, even if the struggles become more weighty when they get older. And yes, I think it's wise to accept some level of suffering as a more or less constant, because also that's really the only way to live in a way that can be joyful alongside suffering. If we're always waiting for the suffering to end before we can experience joy, the joy will be hard to come by...
One of my friends blew my mind a little over a year ago when she talked about how she wondered if we should be praying for a little girl who has had cancer for years (and was majorly suffering) or if we should be praying for strength for the family to walk the hard journey and grow in that. Both of course. But I hadn't thought of prayer that way... Transforming *us* in our hard moments and struggles and days and weeks and months. Ever since I've been praying to grow in the fruits of the spirit, whichever fruit seems most appropriate for the trial I'm in, often more than asking to be delivered from said trial, though I am not a saint and I do still ask for quick answers, ha! I love your thoughts on this and it continues to encourage me on this path.
Also, 18 months does have a brutal sleep regression so that could be why it's been extra hard the last few weeks ❤️
And sleep for kids is a bit genetics I'm convinced. My oldest was a terrible sleeper, would have awake periods for three hours in the middle of the night. All the way until over three when I finally cut out his nap. My second was and is an incredible sleeper. Started sleeping through the night by 6 months. And rarely was ever impacted by sleep regressions. My third is just like my oldest and she just had a three hour awake period last night after weeks of rocky sleep. So I've just decided I can't change nature 😆 and bring on those fruits of the spirit. Praying for you in my tiredness today!!!
Yes, I think that's a really wise way to pray! Of course total healing and deliverance from such an intense trial is the right thing to pray for, but it's also super important to pray for the grace and strength to handle such a challenge.
And I agree re genetics and sleep - I have friends who have babies who slept through the night starting at 6-8 weeks, and others who have 3+ year olds still waking through the night...
I can relate to this with my 20-month-old. WHEN will she sleep through the night? When will I feel consistently well-rested again?! 😵💫
I am sorry for your struggles and I love this part:
“The distinction I arrived at is between hoping for, and hoping in. It is perfectly ok to hope for relief from a difficult situation, or a good outcome in some scenario, or even something “frivolous” like a parking space. But the problem comes when we put our hope in the realisation of our desires; when we think that joy, peace, or contentment will be ours if only [xyz] happened. Our hope must remain in God as the only enduring source of joy, peace, and contentment.”
Ugh, it is so so hard. I always say that I feel like I could manage 12 kids, if only I could rely on them all sleeping through the night, but alas... haha
I love that I find so much value in your writing, even when it is very focused on your faith, as someone who is very much not religious.
It’s fascinating to me how different religions and systems of beliefs can be, in some way, interchangeable if you swap a word or two, or really that they have so much common ground in the shared human experience.
Anyway—sorry—rambling a bit after a long day of work following a night that was interrupted five times by my 4- and 7-year-olds :) I’m sure it will get better *eventually*! Good luck to you!!
I always wonder if there's anyone non-religious reading, so it's cool to know that you are! Thanks for reading, and hope you got some well deserved rest!
You know I've been brought to tears by bad sleep many times xD Always happy to vent on it - because it's a REAL struggle. That being said I really appreciate the conclusions you're coming to, and though it sort of scares me sometimes to acknowledge that 'deliverance from xyz suffering' may not be the right prayer it does contextualize our lives in eternity.. And also allows us to find the good things even in the midst of ongoing hardships, because there are always good things. That being said, this kid needs to sleep and I am specifically going to keep praying that he does :)
I think your prayers have been paying off, he slept until 5.45 this morning which felt SO luxurious haha
The frustration and agony of not getting sleep is truly awful. I have felt that desperation at some point for each of my kids whether newborn or toddler (because kids are all different and weird and decide to screw with your sleep at different times!!), and it is so real. But your realization about wanting a reward and something to hope for is also so important. I think I also had that realization with a few things that were just real continual suffering that helped me in the long run in my approach to how long and continual it turned out to be. Which makes me sound as if you have nothing to ever look forward to, but also, long continual suffering probably exists in some form for most of us, and if it looks or seems to not be existing in others' lives its probably because they're doing a lot of things to avoid, ignore, or deny it which will lead to nothing good in the long run!
Well it's validating for a mum of older kids to acknowledge that the sleep deprivation phase of parenting *is* really hard, even if the struggles become more weighty when they get older. And yes, I think it's wise to accept some level of suffering as a more or less constant, because also that's really the only way to live in a way that can be joyful alongside suffering. If we're always waiting for the suffering to end before we can experience joy, the joy will be hard to come by...
One of my friends blew my mind a little over a year ago when she talked about how she wondered if we should be praying for a little girl who has had cancer for years (and was majorly suffering) or if we should be praying for strength for the family to walk the hard journey and grow in that. Both of course. But I hadn't thought of prayer that way... Transforming *us* in our hard moments and struggles and days and weeks and months. Ever since I've been praying to grow in the fruits of the spirit, whichever fruit seems most appropriate for the trial I'm in, often more than asking to be delivered from said trial, though I am not a saint and I do still ask for quick answers, ha! I love your thoughts on this and it continues to encourage me on this path.
Also, 18 months does have a brutal sleep regression so that could be why it's been extra hard the last few weeks ❤️
And sleep for kids is a bit genetics I'm convinced. My oldest was a terrible sleeper, would have awake periods for three hours in the middle of the night. All the way until over three when I finally cut out his nap. My second was and is an incredible sleeper. Started sleeping through the night by 6 months. And rarely was ever impacted by sleep regressions. My third is just like my oldest and she just had a three hour awake period last night after weeks of rocky sleep. So I've just decided I can't change nature 😆 and bring on those fruits of the spirit. Praying for you in my tiredness today!!!
Yes, I think that's a really wise way to pray! Of course total healing and deliverance from such an intense trial is the right thing to pray for, but it's also super important to pray for the grace and strength to handle such a challenge.
And I agree re genetics and sleep - I have friends who have babies who slept through the night starting at 6-8 weeks, and others who have 3+ year olds still waking through the night...
I can relate to this with my 20-month-old. WHEN will she sleep through the night? When will I feel consistently well-rested again?! 😵💫
I am sorry for your struggles and I love this part:
“The distinction I arrived at is between hoping for, and hoping in. It is perfectly ok to hope for relief from a difficult situation, or a good outcome in some scenario, or even something “frivolous” like a parking space. But the problem comes when we put our hope in the realisation of our desires; when we think that joy, peace, or contentment will be ours if only [xyz] happened. Our hope must remain in God as the only enduring source of joy, peace, and contentment.”
So good and helpful.
Ugh, it is so so hard. I always say that I feel like I could manage 12 kids, if only I could rely on them all sleeping through the night, but alas... haha
I love that I find so much value in your writing, even when it is very focused on your faith, as someone who is very much not religious.
It’s fascinating to me how different religions and systems of beliefs can be, in some way, interchangeable if you swap a word or two, or really that they have so much common ground in the shared human experience.
Anyway—sorry—rambling a bit after a long day of work following a night that was interrupted five times by my 4- and 7-year-olds :) I’m sure it will get better *eventually*! Good luck to you!!
I always wonder if there's anyone non-religious reading, so it's cool to know that you are! Thanks for reading, and hope you got some well deserved rest!