What I did today

(nothing interesting, that's the point)

I’m always curious about how other people spend their days in the ordinary rhythms of daily life, as we tend to only get glimpses of the cosy or exciting or picturesque moments online, and that’s rarely particularly interesting. I also find it helpful to remember how different people’s circumstances are, and that people have different challenges in their daily lives. When everything runs smoothly, I have 3 days/week when the toddler is in crèche and the older kids are at school. I also have a cleaner who comes once per week. These things give me a break and help my life feel manageable.

On the other hand, my husband works very long hours and I rarely have a second pair of hands around during the after school homework/dinner/bath/books/bed routine, so 4.30pm-8pm is generally the most intense part of my day. My husband also travels a fair bit for work. I’m operating in a second language most of the time, and am an immigrant, so that is a constant low level of fatigue. I can’t drive, and that limits me quite a bit. There is no school on Wednesdays so one day per week I have all the kids home all day.

My in-laws live close by, so they are often available to help if there’s a logistical problem or clashing schedules, but their proximity can also be a stressor. Although I feel like we have a nice community where we live and I have a bunch of friends, I don’t have any of my close, longterm friends in the same country as me.

That’s just some context, and trying to illustrate that life is a mixed bag for everyone. So here is an ordinary day for me when the kids are at school/crèche. (Also, I’m posting this on Friday, but the day described was Tuesday this week.)

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5.05am - toddler woke up, I take him from his crib and bring him into bed with me, and after a bit of gymnastics, he falls back to sleep until…

6.40am - toddler wakes again, and I can hear the big kids are awake so I tell them they can get up too (their clock is set to 6.45 so by default that’s when they get up)

6.45am - I make everyone’s breakfast, the toddler tries out his new word “Peee-pa” to see if I’ll put on some Peppa Pig, and it’s cute so I oblige and the kids watch for 10 mins while I make oatmeal

6.50am - the kids eat breakfast while I drink a cup of tea and unload the dishwasher. I tell the big kids about 10 times not to talk to each other if they can’t be nice

7.05am - the toddler goes to wake up dad while I persuade the big kids to start getting ready for school

7.30am - I chase the toddler around try to change his diaper, give him his inhalers, and get him dressed, but he thinks I am playing catch with him and keeps running away. Meanwhile, big brother is showing dad his portfolio of school work that we were supposed to look at during the autumn school break and didn’t get around to

7.50am - I take a shower, husband hangs laundry, kids run around feral

8am - husband goes to take a shower, I repeat to the kids my refrain of “so I presume any toys I find on the floor can be put in the bin?” and they get to work picking up toys off the floor and shoving them in random crevices in their bedroom

8.15am - kids start getting shoes and coats on while husband gets dressed and ready for work. I double check that big kids have what they need (6yo: swimming stuff + school books, 4yo: aforementioned portfolio)

8.30am - husband leaves with big kids to drop them off at school before going to work (they go to school on foot and he uses public transport to get to work). The toddler is very fussy and clingy so I put him in a carrier and then do my make up

8.45am - I get on the toddler’s shoes and coat ready for crèche, and give him a madeleine to eat on the way

8.55am - we leave. I’m in a hurry because I need to leave the crèche by 9.10 latest, it takes about 7mins to walk there, then I have to put the pushchair away, put on overshoes, get the toddler’s coat and shoes off, and then spend a few minutes talking to the staff about how he slept/ate, how his mood is etc. I walk back out the door at 9.09

9.10am - I walk to the kids’ school because I’m accompanying my daughter’s class to the pool today. The walk is about 15 mins, and the coach leaves at 9.30. I arrive just as her class comes out of the gates to join the accompanying parents (2 per class)

9.30-11.50am - I go with the kids on the coach, help kids get buckled into their seats, then make sure everyone behaves while we walk from the coach to the pool. I help the girls get out of their clothes and into their swimsuits, although they don’t really need my help. The parents wait in the pool cafeteria for 45 mins while the kids have their class, and then go back to the changing rooms to help the kids get dried and dressed. We head back to the coach, and once back at school, I leave to go home

12pm - got home, had a quick and very nutritious lunch of crackers and cheese + a leftover slice of birthday cake. Started writing this post. Meanwhile groceries were delivered, so I put those away.

12.30pm - tidied up in advance of the cleaner coming

1pm - the cleaner arrives, I ask her to start in the bathroom instead of the living room and kitchen because we had guests over the weekend and the tidy up is taking longer than I expected

1.15-4pm - I hang out in my bedroom while the cleaner is doing her thing. I do some writing, read a book I’m slogging through, spend ages going down a baby wearing rabbit hole even though I’ve accepted that baby wearing is never going to be comfortable/convenient for me once my kids get past about 9 months for more than 10 minutes at a time, and take a little nap

4pm - get ready to get the big kids from school

4.10pm - leave to get the big kids from school

4.30pm - walk with the big kids to get the toddler from crèche

4.50pm - arrive at crèche, chat with the staff about how the toddler’s day went, try to persuade toddler to leave because he’s too busy climbing and descending the slide over and over again

5pm - walk home with all the kids

5.15pm - get home, oldest does her homework (this takes 5 mins), the younger two play while I start preparing dinner (which is this pork and apple recipe I shared in a recent post)

5.30pm - the toddler is fussy so I put him on my back to keep making dinner. I quickly regret it. See above: I do not find baby wearing comfortable or convenient once they stop being actual babies, no matter how nice the idea seems. He pulls my hair and arches backwards and whines for snacks, and cooking feels very stressful

6pm - we all sit down to dinner. The 4yo has ham with his mashed potatoes and broccoli instead of pork and apples, because I’ve (mainly) figured out where to accommodate him and where to push him to try new things. The toddler doesn’t eat anything except yoghurt. The 6yo eats well

6.30pm - I do some preliminary clean up, before taking the toddler for his bath while the 6yo puts dishes in the dishwasher and wipes down the table

6.50pm - I get the toddler out of the bath, and start the chase to get him into pyjamas, take his inhalers, take his other medication, and brush his teeth. This takes up the entire time until he goes to bed at…

7.30pm - a few books, and into bed. This kid is not an awesome sleeper, but he has pretty much always gone down easily at bedtime, so that’s a blessing

7.30-8pm - I read with the bigs before putting them to bed

8pm - I finish cleaning up the kitchen, and pour myself a drink. Alcoholic in this case, although I don’t usually drink during the week

8.30pm - husband gets home, reheats his dinner, we chat and then watch some TV

9.30pm - I start getting ready for bed, and am in bed by…

9.45pm - I read a little, but am pretty zonked. I think I’m asleep before 10pm

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I said to my husband last week that I feel busy all the time, but when I get to the end of the day, I usually find it hard to tell anyone what I did. I suspect that is the same for a lot of SAH parents - our days are usually a chaotic mosaic of keeping everyone fed, dressed, safe, and if we’re being really ambitious, happy. It rarely sounds like much, but writing it out like this is a helpful exercise in realising that most of us are “on duty” from waking until bed, even with kids in out-of-home childcare.

If I had thought of it, I would have taken some accompanying photos, but alas I did not think of it. If anyone else feels like it, I would be really curious to read others’ “regular day in the life” post. Tag me if you do it :)